In the past, I always felt as though I were somehow something of a fake. That is I’d look around at the other deaf people and think that they had a right to be part of the deaf community, whereas I was just an outsider looking in.
I imagine this way of thinking is very standard with a lot of people with hearing loss and it’s something I’d like to help change. I realised that I was fooling myself into believing that I was once again a hearing person with hearing aids.
It was only when I began to read other deaf people’s stories that I began to recognise some of my own experiences.
I am that person who feels anxious standing in-line at the coffee shop, hoping that I’m going to be able to understand the exchange, as masks and background sounds get in the way.
Some days are better than others when my brain works well interpreting the information coming from my hearing aids.
Other days I feel drained from too much sound and not enough clarity. Feeling confused when the background sounds become foreground noise.
One day I realised that I wasn’t outside that window looking in anymore, I was inside looking out and that’s when it all changed for me.
I’m a deaf person, but apart from being deaf I’m still the same person.